Well it’s the first Friday of 2013 and it’s time for Richard Gray’s awesome Gray’s Anatomy column. This week Richard suggests humorously of course, what your mobile photography New Year’s Resolutions should be. Don’t miss this, over to you Richard (foreword by Joanne Carter).
‘It’s new year’s resolution time! You may have vowed to eat more roughage or not clip your toe nails while watching television in 2013, but how about some resolutions for your mobile photography? Here are some suggestions, loosely based on my own half-hearted intentions:
1) Use Snapseed less. Especially the drama filter. Google bought Snapseed in 2012: proof if proof were needed that Google has some pretty clever people working for it (though I’m not convinced they were having a good day when they added those Retrolux filters).
2) Only use tags if appropriate. Mass copying and pasting of tags is the cyber equivalent of chucking your rubbish out of the car window as you’re going along. It’s an obvious short-term personal benefit but clearly not nice for other people.
3) Do more decim8ing. Yes, one in every ten of my photos will be sacrificed at the altar of the most awesome forward-looking app around for photography.
4) Do not waste any more time replying to tweets or blogs by stuck-in-the-mud photographers from Brighton complaining about how mobile photography is too easy/just a load of filters/ruining their weddings business.
5) Decide which photo sharing platform to get my train from once and for all. Time and our hours on this earth are finite even if the space on Facebook’s servers is seemingly not.
6) Make sure all your photos are fully backed up in full resolution by a reputable provider. Calamity can strike at any time and the household insurance doesn’t cover pixels. A dead hard drive is only one spilt cup of hot coffee away.
7) Stop looking at my, I mean your, follower numbers more than once an hour and then if they have fallen, do not use Statigram to find out who it was who just unfollowed you and do not put a hex on that person, buy a voodoo doll and stick pins in it.
8) Do not litter the internet with needless parallel postings of every photo I take using every available share button and now the IFTTT.com recipes. For the same reasons as stated in resolutions numbers 2 and 5.
9) Do not say “wow” or “awesome” in any comments to photos. Develop such a healthy relationship with one of my followers that I can say “fair to middling” about one of their photos without them putting a hex on me.
10) Access Instagram’s API and launch a new business: Insta Voodoo Doll to supply a sure-to-be growing demand.
Have a happy snapping 2013!
© Richard Gray – ‘Don’t put a hex on me if I unfollow you!’