iSights – ‘Tips from the Tub & The Bathtub Diaries’ – By Janine Graf
We are so delighted to publish Janine Graf’s sixth article to her iSights Column with us. This time Janine speaks to us from her bathtub her ‘happy place’ – she has some great aqua mobile photo editing tips – don’t miss this seriously good read. Over to you Janine (foreword by Joanne Carter).
Hi everybody! This month I’m coming to you from my bathtub, so grab your towel and rubber ducky and stay for a spell (no splashing please). Now, I’ve made it no secret that I do most of my image processing and apping in the bathtub. It’s my happy place. There is nothing better than tuning out the noise and distractions (a.k.a. family) in a tub full of hot water and a mountain of bubbles. The smarter members of my family know better than to disturb me there, so it’s the perfect place to get my creative groove on.
So I’m thinking about doing a series called, “Tips from the Tub” or “The Bathtub Diaries”; I’m still on the fence as to which I like better. Ooh, maybe I can do both?! If I have a tip or trick to share with you, I’ll write about it in a “Tips from the Tub” article. Random blathering can fall into “Diaries”. Hooray! See, we are figuring this all out together . . . from my bathtub.
‘Look dad, I’m naked on the internet’ – ©Janine Graf
OK, so here’s my first tip from the bathtub: if you drink alcohol while in the tub, make sure you are not so tipsy that your grip on your mobile device is compromised. I have a death grip on my phone while in the tub but if I have too much wine or too strong of a mojito, then it can become pretty precarious in there. I haven’t lost my phone yet, but my Nomad stylus brush has gone for a swim.
Tip #2: if you are taking a photo of your feet while in the tub, make sure any reflections of you in the faucet are not R-rated; unless that’s the composition you are going for of course. I zoomed in close on the following image to make sure you can’t see my boobs.
‘Safe for Work’ – ©Janine Graf
Oh, btw, that black “grime” around the faucet and hand lever is not mold, although it sure looks like it. That’s adhesive from the old ones that were recently replaced. Apparently the old one was leaking and the water was dripping behind and down into the wall; eventually revealing itself as a wet spot on the ceiling in my family room complete with peeling paint and a crack in the drywall. Ugh. Anyways, I just had to clarify that in case any of you were thinking, “OK, fine, we can’t see your boobs and you have pretty red toenail polish, but what on earth is with the moldy faucet?! Gross Janine.”
Now here’s something that would fall under the “Diaries” section of this series and has nothing to do with photography: I used to be addicted to Visine. True story. It was the summer of 1985. I was very, very tan and used Visine one day because my eyes looked bloodshot. A friend of my brother’s was over and he commented on how cool the whites of my eyes looked against my dark tan face. Well, that’s all I needed to hear. I used Visine every day until my eyes became addicted; at that point they were constantly bloodshot. The Visine could no longer get the red out and it seemed as though the more Visine I used to fix the problem, the redder they became (what a shock). I had to quit cold turkey. It took a long time for the whites of my eyes to return to normal. I’m now proud to say that I’ve been Visine free since 1995; I did have some relapses . . . I’m only human after all. Maybe in the next ‘Bathtub Diaries’ I’ll talk about my overdose of chewable vitamin C tablets. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise, you CAN overdose on vitamin C. I’m an “all or nothing” kind of gal so trust me on this one. That stunt took about a year to recover from. True story.
‘Visine gets the red out’ – ©Janine Graf
Well that is all for now my friends. My bath water is getting cold. So remember; go easy on the alcohol while bathtub apping, make sure your boobs are not visible in reflective surfaces, and Visine is addictive. Until next time, happy bathing and happy apping!
You’re the second talented iPhone’er I’ve run across who does her best work in the tub..
Looking froward to the series…
Stay wrinkled my friend… 🙂
Thank you Andy! You stay wrinkled as well 🙂
This is the funniest thing I’ve ever read.
I’m glad you got a good giggle out of it Ali! Thanks!
ROTFLMAO!!! 😀 😀 😀
I love your writing…. and this article just made me happy. <3
Well, I'm addicted to lip balm. Have been since, oh, about 1980. And I will NEVER, and I repeat, NEVER give it up. My friend went cold turkey and told me how she had fever blisters and chapped skin on/around her lips until her lips "detoxed". Nope. Not gonna do it. I figure it could be a lot worse (like Visine, for instance.) 😉 And I definitely want to hear the deets on your Vitamin C overdose.
Thanks for being you, dear friend!! You make the world a better, funnier and down-to-earth place. xoxoxo
Oh Cat, you are too kind to me!
Spoken like a true Bonnie Bell addict! 😉 Oh yes, lip balm may as well be laced with crack! I’ve been addicted to that too, but my withdrawals were nothing like your friends! Ouch!!! I’ll write about my vitamin C overdose in the next Bathtub Diaries. What a disaster that was; who’d have thunk?!
Thank you for being YOU Catherine! I adore you! xoxo
I am crying laughing so hard. Human ping pong ball … Can hardly follow the path, but a fun game the whole time. Great article Janine! Please keep them coming!
You have me giggling out loud Colleen!!! Thank you! 😀
Janine's Proud Dad
I know your mom will lie and say that she took that naked picture of you and your (gasp) brother, but I’m here first so it was definitely moi. So cool to have some of my photography on the interwebs. Maybe I’ll get to write a column here too. After all, I have connections.
Well, I figured better this pic of me and James in the tub together than the one mom took of you and me! And to this day I STILL don’t have penis envy. 🙂 I could put a good word in for you with Joanne regarding a column, although I’d make you sign a confidentiality agreement first. 😉
Janine's Proud Dad
LOL! LOL! LOL! *Pretends to be a good sport*
Aw dad, you’re always a good sport . . . one has to be in order to survive our family! 😀
Jeez, you make me laugh. Hmm maybe I should consider unveiling my collection of brass-doorknob-reflection pics.
Now it is YOU who is making ME laugh Alon!!! It’s so funny because it’s true! Those brass doorknob reflections will get you every time! I took one, in a particular room of my house (ahem) because the lighting seemed cool . . . and then I realized WHAT was captured in the reflection. OMG OMG OMG I deleted that pic so fast I sprained my finger! Ack!!!! But YOU should TOTALLY upload yours! 😉
Nothing like a couple of strategically placed pixels in the tub shot…
AND strategically placed bubbles, to be certain! 😀
I don’t know…no boobs…no bacon…but there are bubbles. And you do have sexy feet. Fantastic article, Janine Graf. 5 out of 5 stars!! (I’d given you 6 stars if you had included bacon….)
Yeah, sorry about the G-rating David, and next try I’ll try to include some bacon (but that’ll all I’ll include!). Glad you liked the article; I’ll take 5 out of 5 stars any day! 😀
Tracy Mitchell Griggs
Well, if you WERE in the tub/bathroom, you were in the right place at the right time for a Vitie-C overdose. 🙂
I would NEVER get my iPhone near water. My last one fell out of a sweatshirt pocket into a public loo. That was pretty much all she wrote. I do hear there are cases for underwater, but probably better for shooting than apping. Maybe you need to get one of those hotel Do not Disturb signs and use it on any ‘ol door in the house for privacy options 🙂
Yep, I think as far as overdosing goes, the bathtub seems like the right place! My vit-C overdose location happened to be the office I worked in way back when. I’ll share the story soon . . . maybe I can become, like, a poster child or role model for smart vitamin decisions? 😉
I know I’m tempting fate taking my phone into the bathtub with me; and that is SUCH a drag about your phone going ‘kerplunk’! I do have an underwater case from Lifeproof, but you can’t app with it on (at least not the apping I do – i.e. erasing pixels). 🙂
Tracy Mitchell Griggs
P.S. I like the toe nail polish. I wonder if their are iPhone nail decals? THEN I’d call you an addict 🙂
Thanks! Now that would be over the top! 😀
Cara Gallardo Weil
Hilarious! Love your writing Janine (oh…. and I love your photography too) 🙂
Awww thank you so much Cara! xoxo
Ok this one maybe tops my favorites list! I realize we Aquarians do our best thinking in and around water but the additional knowledge presented here is indeed priceless! I may have to start my own tub diaries. Thank you Janine, you totally rock!
Awwwww thanks MJ, I’m so happy you approve! Well, there’s at least two things I know and those are: 1) us Aquarians need our water time and 2) be mindful of your boobs. You should totally start your own bathtub diaries! I was in the tub last night and was reflecting back on the day I ate 24 Twix candy bars in one afternoon (it was a box of 12 – two bars per package . . . I just did math!) and proceeded to throw up ALL NIGHT LONG. Bummer thing about it was I the fact I wasn’t safe in my own bathroom at the time . . . long story . . . maybe I’ll share it someday in an article? Hopefully Joanne won’t pull the plug (ha! no pun intended but that was kinda cute!) on my Bathtub Diaries segment after this. 😉