“We want a mate who feels like family and a lover who is exotic, surprising. We want to be youthful adventurers and middle-aged mothers. We want intimacy and autonomy, safety and stimulation, reassurance and novelty, coziness and thrills. But we can’t have it all”, says Ariel Levy; the New Yorker writer who had a life that balanced domesticity with intellectual and sexual adventure and then it fell apart, dramatically. This from her memoir ‘The Rules do not Apply’. I have been reading it this week.  Essentially, this book is about the desire to have it all and how that can literally be blown apart. One thing in particular struck me…